2/13/2007

i need a flame for my fuel.

lojack the baby.
the height of irresponsibility.
today is an exception.
hes just dead upset.
whats your drug of choice?
not mad enough to be committed, not sane enough to be normal.
i have messages from deep space.
demand my entertainment, please.
if i said you were beautiful, would you take off your clothes and dance around a bit?
the cutting edge. why? because the non-cutting edge is not so useful.
your guts are like mine.
it just goes to show you that your mind is your own monster.
this originates from the heart!
re-minds you of them. him of her. he of she.
i fear that i may be way too rational to really experience romantic love.
could you just give a twirl, as they say.
sleep only when tired.
at this point, my problem is at least inclusive with not knowing what my problem is.

physics is all about problem solving. complexity theory is all about analyzing problems, determining the resources and number of steps a problem takes to be solved, the scalability of the problem, and so on. it seems like the two studies go hand in hand.

its funny, a number of times throughout my life, an attractive girl has told me, "damn, you clean up nice!". what they have all failed to realize is, generally, i dont clean up! im a dirty person, i dont give a shit!

have i posted this before? how cold would you have to make a single ice cube to freeze an entire glass of water when placed in it. assume the ice cube is 3*3*4 cm, and the water is at 20°C initially, and its... i dont know, one pint, which is apparently just over 550 mL, so lets go with 550 mL. is it even possible? i dont feel like doing it. if it is possible, we ought to do it, cause thatd be fun.

what kind of result would you get, if you took multiple source images, say, many videos of the same scene, but with different angles for polarizing filters, and you had the computer pick the pixels that were darkest and combine them together?

i need to learn how to listen and provoke responses more often.

tom: you told the authorities, "dont let me out, i cant cope with the outside world." Do you have a recollection of that? and do you...
charles: youre making a desperate plea out of something, man. theres no desperate plea out of it. i said i cant handle the maniacs outside, let me back in.
tom: i didnt use the word desperate, thats your word charles.
charles: yeah, well, your inflection and your voice tones were, uh, implications there.
tom: well, uh, you use the word maniacs on the outside. how are you different from the maniacs on the outside, and why do you call them maniacs? because you know something? they think youre one.
charles: yeah, it would reflect. if you hold a negative up to the light, you dont see the light you just see the negative. so im a reflection of your negative, theres no doubt about that and i can handle that also, i been handling it aint i?


sometimes someone might say, "well, thats not healthy behavior". yeah? well what is healthy behavior? the common sense definition defined by the same people who think TV and a 60 hour a week job you hate are healthy? the people who think that pop culture is acceptable? NOTHING is healthy behavior, so fuck that line of reasoning.

what is all this? what sort of problems have we created? weve mucked it up good. this idea of control and responsibility, development, right and wrong... these are all very complex issues.

we get stressed about the dumbest things. its very unnatural. get stressed if you see a lion or bear that could attack you. get stressed if you havent eaten in a few days and you arent sure when or how your next meal will come about. get stressed when someone you care about is in one of these situations again.

if we are going to apply the theories of computability, computational complexity, or mathematics in general, to solve human problems, we need to first determine, what are the most severe problems in the world? and so i am taking a poll: what do you (the reader) believe are the most important problems facing humankind?

i just realized, i hate the idea of being called special, in the sense that parents say their babies are special. im okay with someone saying, i am special, with respect to them. that they enjoy me. i believe we need to express ourselves in more relative terms, rather than absolute terms. people tend to say things like, this is the best thing ever, or that sort of thing. instead, say, this is really cool. i like it a lot.

i slow down, and slow down, and slow down, and it gets to the point when im just not moving at all... and it can be a bit embarrassing. ...and im just stuck there, not moving. i resent it deeply. i think, my life, needs to change. dramatically.

it is such a challenge, to try to impart knowledge on children in a way in which they will be able to take care of themselves., but not in any way which leads to biases that hurt others. how is it that we can be sure the knowledge we are trying to pass on is not biased? how does one know that they have biases? i suppose i could ask. so, to everyone, if i appear to have biases, please inform me. i might be aware of some, maybe not, im not sure.

i am perverted. hopefully. being normal, fuck that. no one even knows what normal is. so fuck anyone who claims to. i want to experience addiction. full fledged, physical addiction, does anyone have any advice? i want to feel the cold sweat shaking withdrawls of... anything.

i just wrote ethanold by accident. and it makes me think of a persons name... im not sure why. the secret service asked me to close my window.

i believe you, whatever you say, because i trust you. but dont lead me astray, dont let me believe something is true just because you think id want it to be true.

something seems missing.

history repeats itself. even in paradise.

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