i might risk seeming so typcial!

it is raining, but i dont believe it is.

"is there any risk of... brain damage?"
"well, uh, technically speaking, the procedure is brain damage, but its on par with a night of heavy drinking. nothing youll miss."

"Two people, equally rich, meet to compare the contents of their wallets. Each is ignorant of the contents of the two wallets. The game is as follows: whoever has the least money receives the contents of the wallet of the other (in the case where the amounts are equal, nothing happens). One of the two men can reason: "Suppose that I have the amount A in my wallet. That's the maximum that I could lose. If I win (probability 0.5), the amount that I'll have in my possession at the end of the game will be more than 2A. Therefore the game is favourable to me." The other man can reason in exactly the same way. In fact, by symmetry, the game is fair. Where is the mistake in the reasoning of each man?" the two envelope problem. and here.

we each both have created our own catch 22s.

what i do is i pay a friend, to, "sometime in the next month, either set my watch forward by ten minutes or do not". and until i get a quick comparison between my watch and another clock i can assume it is ahead, although i do not know for certain. and so if i accidentally realize it is or is not ahead by ten minutes, i then pay another friend to again, either set it correctly or not, within ten minutes sometime within one month. without my knowledge of course. this keeps me on my toes at all times with respect to scheduling.

neutrino, from the italian for, "little tiny neutral one" as opposed to neutrone or "great big neutral one". thats me, neutrone. cause im HUGE.

if truth does not exist, the statement "truth does not exist" is a truth, thereby proving itself incorrect.

there is a chance you should be panicking.
(if you do happen to read this, that is not directed at you Miss!)
i want to be like steve when i throw up.

unnecessarily tough. thats me. -allison

"consider the dilemma of the young lady, for instance, who feels impelled to make known to the world at large the superlative properties of her sub-laryngeal area. the fact that she does so is a tribute to her efforts to make america beautiful, for it has its drawbacks. it is 8 a.m. of a brisk spring morning and the temperature is 40°F, at the bus stop. in her eagerness to brighten the day, she has displayed a stretch of her chest to the elements.
now do you suppose she wants to catch cold? do you think she intends to come down with an attack of virulent goose-pimples that may (just barely may) fester? no, she is merely following the golden rule which, in case you have forgotten, goes, as nearly as i can recall it: do unto others as others would like to have you do unto them."
-Dr. A, from "the sensuous dirty old man"

hold first chopstick in original position move the second one up and down Now you can pick up anything.

when we play dumb together, im outta youre league!


get out of your mind

last night, which was really this morning, i talked to Allison and unknowingly witnessed the peak of the orionid meteor shower. it was very pleasing, except that i was repeatedly forced to find new wishes to wish for. i suppose that implies there isnt a whole lot in my life i desire changed. there are a few things, i would say, i desire changed. but i suppose i do not believe that any of them can be solved with wishes. which provokes the question, is there anything i feel can be changed with a wish? and i suppose i would have to answer no.

ben knows all.

she and i both seem torn in contradictions. although i cannot say (and should not speak) for her. although i do get the impression that she is plagued by guilt, which is a trouble i have not experienced in a long time. im not sure how i have escaped it. dammit, i havent finished my physics exam... i should have done that. instead i did not.

"i hope you will understand that the distance between us is not as great as it seems."

It is postulated that the new policies the army had adopted after WWII combined with the psychologically demanding guerilla-style warfare used by the Vietnamese were responsible for wearing away the brain's ability to recognize good from bad, pain from reward, and other basic psychological distinctions.

calm down, im gonna hold your hand.


the butterfly catastrophe: V=x^6+ax^4+bx^3+cx^2+dx

we were just hanging out on campus, we meet this old friend of his brothers, and we end up in the athletic field. next thing we know, hes lighting off fireworks.

how weird, my awkward dedication to avoiding the commonplace has prevented me from expressing myself.

phrases ive recently enjoyed:
breathe more deeply
graceful degradation
fault tolerant
study its habits
"so much time to question oneself is not good"
"extracting semantics from syntax."
in god we trust; everybody else pays cash.
propagation of uncertainty!
the length of an object is determined by measuring both ends of it simultaneously.
‘swamped by the noise’
"its just another fools pleasure."

the idea of the dali lama is very interesting... an entire culture all devoted to the education and well-being of a single individual. i wonder what the consequences would be if all children could experience such a concern for their well-being.

The first brain image of a person with psychosis was completed as far back as 1935 using a technique called pneumoencephalography (a painful and now obsolete procedure where cerebrospinal fluid is drained from around the brain and replaced with air to allow the structure of the brain to show up more clearly on an X-ray picture).

if you could go back in time to help yourself out, what would you do?


verse chorus verse

did i miss the rain by a minute or a building?

consider the word unhappier. one could analyze this word as the prefix un- added to the adjective happier:
but this would mean "not more happy", when the word really means "more not happy". A semantic correct bracketing:
however violates the morphophonological rules for the suffix -er.

how about the human mind and games like go for being good solutions to the np problems? could the structure of bubbles be a probabilistic solution to the STP problem?

i try to avoid admitting to things i do/say/think/like/have/want/etc in situations which i feel could be misinterpreted as me trying to impress, which i tend to think many such situations could be so misinterpreted. for instance, a girl i am attracted to says she likes some band that i love, so i respond with, thats cool, or yeah, neat, but not, oh, i love them too! because it seems so cliche! so easily thought of as deceitful! these days even the road less travelled is a twelve lane superhighway. cliches cycle backwards to being novelties, and originality is borderline mentally ill. but maybe its always been. or maybe i have no idea what im talking about or thinking. but probably some weighted combination.

gone to the zoo to flick off the monkeys.

what is the difference between "reduced anxiety" and "impaired judgement"? how dependent is the categorization on what you feel are publicly acceptable moral standards? how depressing is that? that you might play reduced inhibitions down as impaired judgement, just because it is not socially acceptable to admit that it was a decrease in anxiety or an increase in comfort that resulted in your frowned upon behavior. me, i hope i never confuse the two.

have the courage to say something.

someone should probably stab me.
boy decide

do something sudden, destructive, and unpredictable.

could it really go so quickly wrong?
i am the antonym of talent.

ive been coining meaningless yet deep sounding phrases lately:
i am not your crutch, i am your noose.
you are not my savior, you are my martyr.
if masturbation were a job, id be on overtime
i wouldnt be a full time employee, but id make a decent living.

symptoms of overdose of metharbital include confusion, decrease in or loss of reflexes, somnolence, pyrexia, irritability, hypothermia, poor judgment, shortness of breath or slow/troubled breathing, slow heartbeat, slurred speech, staggering, trouble in sleeping, unusual movements of the eyes, weakness
symptoms of overdose include WEAKNESS.

isnt it bizarre how laid back i can be, yet at the same time, how uptight and neurotic i can be?

1. [[nuclear] [[physic(s)][-ist]]] - one who studies physics, and who happens also to be nuclear
2. [[[nuclear] [physics(s)]][-ist]] - one who studies nuclear physics, a subfield of physics that deals with nuclear phenomena

this disappearing act damages my nerves; i have never been one for "magic".
it is true; i am a liar.

is it like a bad dream? where you cant get to where you are going? six more days at the bottom of the ocean.

nothing interests me more;
i would love to turn you on.


the fortune cookie couldnt be more wrong.

brainstorming responses to the slanderous question, "when did you stop beating your wife?"
"when the kids got old enough to beat her."
"when i started beating your wife."
"when she said the codeword."

i might now be drowning in excess notes and paper and ideas. like my thought processes are decaying towards white noise. but that isnt true. im sharper than ever in classes like modern physics, physical chemistry, and complex variables, which are supposed to be three of the most challenging classes i will have ever taken at keene.

in a bizarre habit of humility, i nearly always type my name with lowercase letters.
the word or phrase that best describes you? "aesthetically pleasing"
the word of phrase that best describes me? "salacious. lecherous. vile."
something esoteric. i dont even know what esoteric means! which has a funny connotation to it.
the best i can figure is that i have a fear of being too needy. so i overcompensate, and then become afraid that i will appear too distant. oddly enough, i dont have any expectations of other people, so i dont ever think that other people are too needy or distant, but maybe thats just cause im in my own world.

i just read part of an old paper claiming to prove P=NP by way of nature's ability to solve an NP-complete problem with bubbles. then i read some posts about how it doesnt always work, which makes me wonder if it could be viewed as a probabilistic algorithm. also i began wondering about the human mind and games like go for being good solutions to the np-complete problems? i dont know what it would mean if the "bubble algorithm" were a probablistic algorithm anyway, somehow i dont think that would really imply P=NP.

you can trick me, but not as convincingly as i (often) trick myself. long story short. plea bargain. considerable damage. this is life at face value. its like a bad dream where you cant get to where youre going. i am subtle but not malicious. both of which are the opposite of how i would prefer to be.

"leave the house before you find something worth staying in for."
and "its easier to get forgiveness than permission."

waiting for the punch line. please expedite action. take it personally. follow the leader. fine and dandy? glad to know you.

ask dick about classifying functions according to the periodicity with respect to the differential operator.
ask dr wolf about his mathematically frowned upon tricks.

what is it that i really want? what is it that other people want? i think i should know what i want. i could at the very least place lower bounds on my desires.

my favorite color of noise is brown, or maybe grey. i cant decide. even pink perhaps.