fearsome though we are, lets enjoy.

defect from society. happy you near. laughter is simply sharp repeated breathes. touch is having or getting zero distance. angels there attend. dont mistake kindness for weakness. i concern myself with all the wrong things. all the wrong order. i am working hard to get the background color right, when i havent even started researching for the presentation. story of my life.

i recently stumbled across notes i wrote while trying to figure out how to solve a rubik's cube for the first time: "rubik's cubes are like girls, its possible i will never figure either one out." well, i figured out the cube long before the girl. "solving a rubik's cube should be a matter of messing it up in reverse." clearly i didnt understand entropy yet. "in order to solve a cube, i must think like a cube!" i really want to remember to say this next time someone asks me about it. this is also written on the sheets: "pardon me, you with the severe aesthetic deficiency. (hey ugly)"

holy shit, currently, china is planning to build a large coal fired power plant, every week, for the next seven years. my take on global warming can be summed up with the age old adage, "better safe than sorry". and as an extremely prosperous society, it just seems like the answer should be, why not make an effort to correct it? strange how people can be so engulfed by products of the scientific community, yet so skeptical of scientific opinion. so while lasers play your music and movies, and satellites give you days advance in weather warnings for snowstorms and hurricanes, people still doubt evolution and global warming. to be fair, its easier to doubt these things since all scientific matters are filtered through politics and media before being received by the general public, and so they can doubt the information based on those things. but stop it. just stop. please. stop it. now. so i want my next car to be a flexible fuel car.

a motivating factor for me to keep my room clean: have chuck and stacy over. have drinks, play games, hang out. stacy doesnt like sci-fi. chuck plays guitar.

decimate is a neat word. behavior modification. when something goes wrong. its easy to impress when nothing is expected. vanishing. the monsters behind the door. decorate decorate! kill pain. induce joy. like an opiate for your heart. better to endure pain than to become bound to the drug. ha, in school they never tell you that columbus was sent to find india to retrieve opium as well as other things. humans are great. morphine was invented to cure alcohol. heroin was invented to cure morphine. death was invented to cure heroin (?). an illness was either amputated, or medicated. a good doctor was a fast doctor. fear overcomes tolerance. lets enjoy.

its not easy to squeeze a trigger when you are wearing mittens. fearsome though we are. my only marketable skill is to occupy space. its a light your after cause light moves faster.

a lot of people say im smart, and i know why. its because i know a little bit about a lot of things that not many people know about. but ive never liked being called smart, so ive reached the conclusion that 'smart' should really mean, 'one who learns from their mistakes'. in which case, there is no indication that i am any smarter than anyone else. which is perfectly fine. we are all good at some things and terrible at others. its lucky when you really enjoy what you are good at for a long time, but if you dont, choose what you enjoy over what you are good at. its better to be happy than productive. the world is productive enough to let us be unconcerned with productivity, though few people see this.

yeah, it might be nice to have a consistently poor memory. but you live your life with what you have, and i happen to have a memory that works great at some times, and terribly at others, independent of my personal desires.

Louis C.K. talks about the phrase "suck a bag a dicks", and it is great. i find it entertaining.

ive noticed the conflict between the rational mind and the emotional mind is more prevalent when you think with one of them too consistently. on occasion, i experience a mental overdose.

i like new things. people usually think i am thinking. they ask me all the time, "what are you thinking about?" and i say, nothing. so they ask again, because they dont believe me. when i walk, i never look more than a few feet in front of me. people tend to assume that means i am either depressed, or consumed in thought, which on occasion might be true. but i think im just usually watching where i am going, carefully choosing where i plant each step. although this is all true and accurate, it also makes a great metaphor for my life. too meticulous. too premeditated. and possibly too unconcerned with even my short term future. but whatever, fuck that. there is no such thing as right and wrong, you live your life in a way you enjoy, and there wont be anything more to demand.

i could not decide what to title this. i really love the phrases: "angels there attend", "fearsome though we are" and "lets enjoy".

let us compete for criminal boldness.

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