gather my thoughts

see nothing unusual.
fake smile contest everyone!
a great disappointment.

in the same vein as the "only one side of one sheep is black", we dont really understand the universe well, we simply understand the behavior of the universe near to the earths surface extremely well. better than anyone has ever known anything. by far.

"everyone is aware that i applied a correction"
in the immediate failure

moments of clarity come and go.

"its like youre strapped to a bomb."
"if its real, these pills wont kill it."
"i have great affection for you."
"im not the enemy.
then who are you?"

this is just a nightmare.
and soon im gonna wake up.
gather my thoughts.

"his names cold blood; sgot a scar cross his throat. ill hook you up. you two can go get nachos together."

when people tell me ive changed, i feel compelled to respond:
havent i always?

time to build a new habit.
im addicted to change.

hey, if we can read people's thinking based on their brain pattern or EEG or something, could we also force it into certain thoughts by intentionally triggering those patterns? could we convince them of something horrible?

i think my concept of 'scientifically minded' is basically an honesty about what is and is not understood, combined with a respect for the sacredness of truth. throw in some dedication to learning and understanding and following the rules of logic, and maybe some simple do-s and dont-s of science, and youre well on your way to being a scientist. pattern recognition, abstract comprehension, analytical thinking... a strong curiosity in the nature of things as well as a flexible & patient attention, big pictures made of details. time to stop this now.

well, there are a number of options im okay with: i dont mind the fact that people are good at sports or art, and are rewarded handsomely. i most definitely do not like the rewards given in large disproportion to the higher ups in many bloated conglomerate corporations. i guess the concept of 'scientifically minded' in this case could be called an honesty about what is and is not understood, combined with a strong respect for the truth.

"no no, im not losing this. everything is now finally signficant, the world is a beautiful and radiant place, im not trading that for this."

i think the thing i find most amazing about some people, is their ability to make me feel human. and this is only true when neither they nor i notice it is happening. but they know how to make me feel human even though ive never figured that out.

this is all baloney. theres no mystery in most of these things; near death experiences, are you kidding me? fucking DMT, Ketamine, LSD... hallucinations are not mysterious whatsoever. deja vu? its a fucking internal time-stamp error! okay? youre brain records memories, and along with those memories a rough idea of when they happened (obvious). the memories your brain records are information, either received through the senses or generated internally (such as thoughts, ideas, new emotions, whatever). that information, whatever it may be, simply has to be stored to memory with a "previously stored" rather than "happening right now" tag. its simple. ever notice how when you have the sense of deja vu, that no matter how strongly your next observation seems to be familiar and previous, you still didnt think of it until afterwards? thats because it didnt exist until you observed it! ghosts! are you fucking serious! the mind body connection! dont you understand consciousness yet? psychic power and esp fuck you! ufos, mysterious disappearance... i gotta stop that. or is it start that?

we are limited by our limited awareness and understanding of our own senses.

my malignant little friend
opposite the sun
compensate with the pasta sauce!

is it really acceptable to look at subsets of a system? or must it be all?

i was running down a flight of stairs at work when i suddenly forgot whether i was skipping one step at a time or two. panic ensued.

im not sure any field is in a deeper darker hole than cosmology; rotation curves, dwarf galaxy problem, dark matter, dark energy, inflation, cuspy halo problem...

"obstacle to progress."
"depend on it."

emotions & volume
im gonna move to AZ or NM or desert like area and be a ship builder or boat maker... ill have full market control.

im too internal. i should express more.

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