said without pause

tiny defects
as smaller. and prettier.
what the hell was i supposed to do?

have we found the problem with photons viewing the universe with (nearly) no time or space? could we also view the orientation (polarization) of the photon as a result of the space that it has travelled through? the way line integrals accumulate according to the field they run through?
eh, this is a dumb idea.

crap. i need to be around smarter people again, to help put me in place, make me feel dumber. working hard forward rather than treading. really i mean people who can challenge my strengths, mathematics and physics. or they will just soften and die. like any other skill left unpracticed.

something to do with the amount of resources required to prove something falls into a specific complexity class. or other aspects of the class. for instance, it seems that a proof that p=np would be as difficult as an np problem. no, thats not right. im fucking something up again.

a paper ring
go outside and look up, wherever you are.

there was a lunar eclipse last night. i photographed it. i also saw the largest meteorite ive ever seen, by far. it was brighter
than a low flying airplane, and moving many times faster than even a low flying jet would, though far away. it lasted for less than a second, and broke into pieces and promptly went dark, near, though above the tree line. it was right after i left work, in my car.

compulsive or impulsive?

as truth or heresy

"Hitherto the people attracted to philosophy have been mostly those who loved the big generalizations, which were all wrong, so that few people with exact minds have taken up the subject." -Russell
i like the term "exact minds"

tshirt idea (probably had it before)
stuff from wargames (the map), and some phrase.

i know this is really fucked up, but imagine that you researched a whole bunch of missing persons cases in a given city and timeframe, and then you wrote a book from the perspective of the abductor, describing his actions and the fate of his victims. and then you published anonymously. imagine the fallout that could come from such an event!
i would much prefer to write a book about all this happening fictitiously.

how do we first learn words? we could do it visually or audibly, by showing the child pictures with the words, or sounds with the words. are there other ways? is it better to be predominately one way or the other?

and if i have to, ill just pretend for you.
not even in the movies.
the archetype of self restraint.

wait a second, is computation the link between spacetime and energy? with the speed of light as a limit?

write it down. type it up.

memory almost seems like the result of doing something out in your head 'the long way' or something. i dont know, i must be going crazy; more and more of the things i write dont make sense.

ive decided to make myself autistic. im going to learn and practice the doomsday algorithm religiously, sacrifice whatever remaining social life i have, and continue to soak up useless information and mental algorithms.

find me your confidant
find me
-your confidant

coup d'├ętat
im only dead on the inside.

and i guessthis too.

blank books
"ubiquitous but maddeningly elusive"
just like you just like me

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