keyhole control

2·5·08
there is no 'head' to cut off.
let me know your enormity
he walked in on what he had created and couldnt take it.
you know all the words, but you cant hear the music.
coming apart.
2·6·08
don't fall through the stars
2·7·08
heres some questions: what proportion of the world population is educated now versus fifty years ago? versus specific countries like america? how might we go about measuring these things? or defining what qualifies as educated? could we compare the relative knowledge too? could we compare the groups (edu/unedu) with respect to time? or each other?
the flynn effect peaks at this.
dysgenics
negative selection
for how long have i forgotten to blink?
would it make sense to find the 'frequency' of any function with curvature, at a given point? so basically, if you preserved that curvature, youd observe some periodic behavior with whatever frequency...
2·9·08
usually when i joke about not being human, its because i dont seem to relate too well to others. i tend to think the things most people concern themselves with are silly. i have difficulty reading people's emotions, and people apparently have trouble reading mine. but now im thinking that its a lot of other things too. a lack of appetite. whatever an antonym for need is. an all too often lack of a need for sleep, usually because my mind is so entertained or tortured by whatever is on it.
people really need to get over the idea of good and evil. its not a useful idea at all really, it just leads to problems.
i had a weird dream last night that my apartment was actually my brother & his wife's old boston apartment, i think their first apartment, near coolidge corner.
tonight, your ghost will ask my ghost, "where is the love?"
tonight, your ghost will ask my ghost, "who put these bodies between us."
and its beginning to get to me.
monstrous things
i want to destroy all my habits.
which includes working for a living i think.
"so i hear a rumor youre tracking all our internet activity. so is it true? cause, i can explain all that shemale stuff."
your mother must be so proud.
its interesting, in some sense, the prime numbers are all that is needed to construct the set of all integers (at least through multiplication). just like the fundamental particles are all thats needed to construct all physical reality... hmmm, what role would light play in the mathematics side of the interpretation? better yet (as it is a more reasonable question to expect a real answer), can you construct all the integers with exponentials?
i dont know why but all the sudden, while going to the bathroom, i understand what it means to convert from the time domain to the frequency domain, and why you would do that. and as a result i now have a much stronger than usual desire to really understand DFT and FFT sort of transforms.
"imagine, theres a gun in your face. which part of your body is expendable?" hmmm... the brain?
you always looked like a pro.

power makes you grow fangs.
-dan

the dominant subject in my brain, has been, for the last few years, and in general, for my entire life: girls.
okay, what influences might i possibly be missing, when it comes to the minds decision making abilities? there are the obvious ones: what your conscious mind wants/needs and does not want, what your instinctual mind does and does not want... are there other influences? like chemical influences? okay, now i can say this correctly: i tend to map the cause->effect relationship in mental health as cause = external (to the mind) event, and effect (internal to the mind) event. but not everyone does that. a lot of people buy into the drug adds, (and indeed it may be true), that your state of mind is caused internally, by its chemical makeup. i guess i just expect the mind to be more flexible than that... i guess i view it as responding to external influences much more significantly than bending under its own internal makeup. that pretty much sums up my skepticism in SSRIs and other depression drugs.
i love it in movies when people fire 'warning shots'.
"i agree with the second part."
whenever i accidentally allow a shot of whiskey (or rum, or tequila, or whatever else i might have taken a shot of) to go up my nose, im always really bummed out. thats not cool. that makes me never want to do shots again. which is why im typing this right now: because i want to remember why i dont want to take shots, so that i dont do it again.
holy fucking shit. can we quantify the rate at which entropy increases? probably upper bounds are a bad idea (as there is no limit to how slow it could go). but the average might be interesting. it seems as if entropy in the immediate vicinity of something complex, like life, or intelligence, might be manipulated. what i mean really is a quantification of the rate of entropy in a given volume of space. so obviously on a quantum scale, entropy could go forward or backward in specific events. but on a human scale, it could only decrease (naturally) for a moment, before increasing. it seems. gotta try thinking about this sober.
in all its glory.
do people really tend to imagine that i am not smart enough to judge my own intelligence? most people struggle just to define intelligence, how can they feel so certain they can recognize it?
fucking enlightenment. i think its probably best just to deny the reality of it: basically accept that there is no such thing as enlightenment, its just an idea we conceived of, because we can imagine such a situation where we have solved our problems. that doesnt mean such a situation can exist.
the world is not so dangerous as most people seem to think. we are all exactly human. nothing more, nothing less.
ah, cocky! thats what i need to become! ive already got the arrogance, i need to be arrogant in a bolder way.
thoughts on the education of daughters.
i wish i had those violent sort of conflicts, where everyone hurt one another.
"guns wont be necessary."
"so this is how it goes."
impulse control
deferred gratification
deferred gratification
i have way too much of these things.
doesnt it seem like there should be limits on the computational power of a given volume of space? so not only is there a limit to how much information can be stored in a given area, there is a limit to how it can evolve over time.
2·11·08
from Jane
this seems interesting too.

the boundaries of my loyalty are poorly understood.

maybe im not so definite. maybe somehow i cobbled together a random assortment of other [cortical potential] into a working mind. like your prom dress.

im told this man is unhappy; inconsolable grief

holy crap, Bernard just sent me something grand:
The name Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt was an inevitable afterthought. When Steven Seagal finished creating a drink that holds untold natural power, there was only one equivalent in nature- The Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt. Both mysterious and powerful, it's a symbol of the untold energy the earth has to offer- Such is Steven Seagals Lightning Bolt energy drink.

i kind of regret ending it on that note.
so ill use this instead. even though it is no better.