my complement

heh heh... god made me an atheist. do you question his wisdom?!

computational geometry
weierstrass function
photon polarization
circular polarization
hard drive study. that didnt help me at all really.
EM wave equation
sensory defensiveness
kind of just neat.

we should start a weekly evil conspiracy and needlepoint group.
lets start with ridiculous and work our way backwards.
why am I hanging around in the rain out here
a subtle encouragement.

"its a great way to become popular
if you want to be popular with law enforcement"

heres a question, would you eat at a restaurant that was founded by the KKK? what if it was really popular, like mcdonalds, the olive garden, or whatever your favorite restaurant (fast food or otherwise) is. maybe i have a flawed sense of morality, or maybe this is flawed logic, but it seems to me that organizations with a long history of immoral, unacceptable, downright EVIL behavior, ought to be destroyed. the catholic church is my target here, as they have history of destructive, poisonous behavior that long predates the industrial revolution, and any other corporation. their crimes against humanity long predate the establishment of america, and worse yet, they continue to this day!

i know we constantly question the comprehensibility of the universe, repeating to ourselves that in all likelihood there are things that we simply cannot comprehend. are we justified in assuming this? could we be justified in assuming the complement?

so when you come down from your death defying labors, ill still be in love with you.

with respect to the anthropic principle, yes, of course the universe must exist in such a way as to support life. but in this sense, must is only a result of us talking about it! duh! but okay, we do not know why the universe has the 'settings' that it has. nor do we know the likelihood of it having different settings. nor do we know the likelihood that different settings would or would not lead to life! therefore we have very little idea of how rare or not rare life actually is. sort of like trying to get a monkey to understand what what the likelihood of a catastrophic failure occurring during typical unmanned rocket launching. the monkey just wont know enough to understand it.

also, some people tend to argue that there must be some mystical element in the universe to explain consciousness, life itself, or spiritual sensations. but why! very few people will ever understand even the simplest phenomena, let alone seriously complexity. how many people really understand why a top stays up? or a bicycle? how many people out there even know what the n-body problem is? the uncertainty principle, and more so the mathematics behind it, ensure that nothing (no one) can possibly know everything, or practically anything really. but claiming that there is a deity of some sort implies that there exists such a being! also, it implies that you know there exists such a being!
okay, i think now im out of control.

how many of us can really understand what makes an insurmountable obstacle? can any of us? can we even be sure there are such things? yes. but its difficult. we can prove there are insurmountable obstacles when trying to find whole number (integer) values of x, y and z that satisfy x^n + y^n = z^n for any n greater than or equal to three. along with many, many other mathematical truths, that often seem trivial in the light of reality.

what is wrong with us all! we made all of this up! every bit of it! there is not a single idea, concept, object, whatever, noun... that humans did not conjure up themselves! and no, i dont mean that without humans thered be no universe or stuff in it, like rocks and cats and mathematics. no i mean that without humans words like god wouldnt exist.

insurmountable obstacles.

osculating curves (mathematical porn)

unfortunately for us, i dont know how not to be me.

she passes through you like a knife
oh take me with you
you silver rider
sometimes your voice is not enough.

subtly private
sometimes my passion shows through
which is the reason girls like me i think.

wikipedia articles to re-look up:
quantum harmonic oscillator
riemann hypothesis
spherical harmonics
black body
ha ha ha
annihilation operators. good band name?

which would you rather have?
a jealous but expressive guy
or a passive and free-spirited guy who has trouble expressing himself
okay, wait, thats not really what i mean.

hey, what just happened?

youll have to keep me human
everything glowing.
strange at it may seem.
but that doesnt help; it doesnt help.

when i do move out of my apartment, i should take all my bottles, write messages and throw them in the ocean.

every day feels like the first one.

Dan told me about HB 1623, a bill to decriminalize marijuana, establishing a limited fine maximum of 200 rather than up to 2000 and two (?) years in prison. it passed in the new hampshire congress, i made this chart to show the voting proportions, and reiterate the age old question, why would any drug user be republican?

i also wrote to governor Lynch here, (by way of the email the governor link), urging him to pass the bill. my slightly awkward due to the 800 character limited message was as follows:
I have been told that you, Governor Lynch, will veto HB 1623, regarding the penalty for possession of marijuana. I strongly encourage you to pass this bill. You may have heard, more than 1% of American adults are now incarcerated, and NH has experienced the second largest growth in prisoner population in 2007, at 6.6%. (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/28/us/28cnd-prison.html?_r=1&oref=login). Given the economic burden this creates, the lives it destroys, the relative harmlessness of the act, as well as the shear hypocrisy of parading about, cheering 'freedom', while criminalizing the possession of even a small amount of this natural substance, is downright absurd. Please come to your senses and see that this is the right decision to make. A historical first step in the right direction.

the other night i saw lars and the real girl, and i really liked it very much. half way through the movie i felt as if i had fallen in love with each of the girls surrounding the main character, including a married pregnant woman, and a very lonely old doctor. then i began to realize that i just sort of loved all the characters, and eventually i came to the conclusion that it is because all of the characters were just very very nice people. as nice as can be i would say probably. thats probably why so many people tend to like me too. though maybe ive become less nice than i used to be, over the last few years. i dont know, it is hard to say.
i think for most of my life, i have been so nice to people, they feel obligated to be nice back. and on the rare instance that someone was mean, and i felt hurt, it was very short lived, often ending when someone else around me stuck up and resolved it. maybe my life just sort of fed the process more and more until it became very difficult for me to be mean, or even understand why anyone is mean? i suppose i still am from time to time though. maybe just as much as anyone. i dont see others being mean that often.

the characters were just all sweet people though.
makes me think of the silver mt zion lyrics, "please, believe, gentle dreams, the sweetness of people, whistling in their sleep". if i remember that right.

feed the process.

also, girls like passion. thats why they like me. i suppose everyone likes passion. if you really want to capture someones heart, reveal your passions to them. im pretty passionate about a lot of relatively impersonal things, so it shows through a lot i suppose.

and you were standing here beside me.
its okay. if i were human, id be desperate too.
theyre not real, so theyll last for ever. isnt that neat?
this is how the world ends.

taxi to the dark side; you almost dont want to believe it. preferring to think rather that it just cannot be true.

why do i stare at everyone with the same generic look of contempt?

my complement.

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