3/29/2008

how to show it

3·26·08
that activates my hilarity unit.

i really love the world 'kept'
which makes me think about how i love the word 'cept' too, though
cept is slang, not really a word. in general it is except, but it could also stand for accept. concept, precept, incept, inept - no, CEPT (probably vandalism?)
alright, i guess not.

i just misread the phrase, "publicly traded company" as "publicly traded laundry."

i propose a new word, "oup". itll be pronounced like 'soup' without the 'ssss' sound. i figure it can represent a double oops. so its as if youre saying oops for whatever problem you has just struck you (thats why people say oops), but then before you finish the word 'oops' you realize it is not actually an error, and therefore you have been wrong about being wrong.

3·28·08
one more storm to call it a winter.

im still pretty sure that people can be unsubjectively nice. there is a better wording for what i am trying to describe. i just cannot think of it yet. im pretty sure i embody what i want to.

i was thinking that whatever my personality is, its buried beneath a whole bunch of check and balances and crevices that for most people are filled with years of experience. ian said, "you don't know much about girls do you", and i said, well duh! isnt that fucking obvious? thanks for reminding me.

we'll collect the moments 1-by-1,
i guess thats how the futures done.

well i guess they still dont understand.

i dont know why i am scared of talking to people anymore than i know why people are scared of talking to me.

wait in the fire
wait in the fire.

its so difficult for me to remember that the world is not at all how i imagine it. i feel like i relearn that fact every day.

i guess it is sort of as if the world is in slow motion, but you arent normal speed either. youre stuck moving slow like the rest of the world. though you dont really feel stuck, because even your mind is running slow. you just feel observant of the speed of the universe.

this is pretty awesome.

soggy is a weird word.
foggy and soak are kind of neat.
i feel like ive just discovered words or something. as if they are as beautiful as anything else in the world. is there a condition in which one is easily swooned? i would definitely suffer chronically.

what separates me from most is my ability to articulate when describing my strange behavior.

when considering people who believe morals are derived from religion, or that religion has done good in the world, or that humans are inherently evil or bad, one very prevalent fact glares at me. there are many many social creatures in nature, they have no knowledge of the bible or spiritual beliefs, and yet they behave well. they do not just 'do wrong when they know they can get away with it'. they behave because it is natural to do so. because that is the most stable rule. i world in which 'evil' behavior is natural and encouraged would destroy itself, wouldnt it? everyone loves to say how terrible the current state of the world is. but its still here. things arent really that much different than in the past. and yet, they are completely different.

how 'thick' is a photon? seems 'zero' is a suitable answer, since they are transverse waves. or maybe they have to do with time? is there a length of time required for a photon to be absorbed?

im thinking of cutting my hair.
but also thinking of not cutting my hair.
its a dilemma i reckon.

i suppose i enjoy discussing physics and mathematics the way my friends all enjoy movies or skiing or going to concerts or bowling, needlepoint, uh... bike riding, surfing, computer programming. hmm, sky diving... drugs, logical puzzles... girls... politics... cooking. dancing. child care. writing. drawing. painting. singing. playing musical instruments. astronomy.


i just dont know how to show it.

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