what i am i am not.
fee mail-box?
meanings change so quick.
ask yourself if you are happy and you cease to be so.
"did you know that you actually have to burp babies? its not an option." –Kevin Seymour
these ducks dont understand fluid dynamics.
DO NOT get caught up in concerns. instead, get entertained by the process.
i wonder if my search for information and answers is equivalent to those people who spend a long time searching for god, or answers to lifes questions.
unfortunately, i do not have the pleasure of choosing what i ignore. but there was a time in which i felt confident that i could convince myself of anything. that should be useful.
more elaborate designs will not save you. YOU MUST KEEP MOVING! YOU MUSTNT STOP! NOTHING STOPS MOVING! NOTHING STOPS. orbits only work because of motion. i wouldnt want to crash now would i? i got paranoid. this paranoid state of mind demands too much blood; it strains an already stressed heart.
today [11·18·06] in the car on the way home from boston, i saw the biggest X ive ever seen.
"im very attracted to you; and no, im not calling you fat." and i dont just dont just mean dont just mean physically. as superficial as can be, id still be happy blind. blindly happy. happy in thought. happy in ideas. ecstatic for concept; ecstatic for souls. and i dont usually let myself be so certain.
"I shall be as little vague as I know how to be if I am to employ the English language"
–Bertrand Russell
i wonder, does it appear that the uncertainty principle has something in common with relativistic lack of simultaneity? i think ive wondered that before, but now i ask as Russell speaks of vagueness and precision in reality versus words. it interests me again.
and now, for once, something of value:
i wish i could write Music in Words. whole Orchestrated pieces. and emotions and states of mind and feelings. everything to be human. i feel scarcly human.
my mom asked me if i believe love exists, and i changed the subject. she asked me if i believed in love, and i changed the subject; its not that i dont believe in love. im not really sure what that means even. but i am comfortable saying: i look at what people seem to indicate love is, and i believe that it is something i feel very strongly; i hope i am finding ways to express that.
i told my mom last night that i am a strict physicalist. i told her i define existence as something you could place in a box of finite size, with some reasonably definite location.
she asked me if i believe love exists, and i changed the subject.
i need to talk to people much smarter than myself about this. its the only way for me to ever know what i think.
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