Nothing Left to Burn

1·27·10
"Bring your hips to me"

What a weird idea. Still seems very likely impossible though. It's hard to imagine a plant that can grow significantly faster than the fastest growing plants we have.

1·29·10
"Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist."

Logicomix just enlightened me to the tragic parallels of Socrates' hemlock and Turing's chemical sentence, which is thought to have driven him to suicide. It's discouraging that in more than 2400 years, humanity still hasn't learned not to commit terrible acts against one another, especially for such innocent acts. How many Geniuses have will killed for jesus? And what price has humanity paid for it?

Too much fantasy and not enough reality is a bad thing.


2·2·10
Is there a contradiction between the phrase "buy American" and "no socialism" or "capitalism only" or that whole line of thinking?

I think possibly the real issue with mind-blindness is that all humans communicate expecting others to understand them, it seems that is an implicit presumption when communicating. But if the words or symbols, or the pattern of ideas, is not shared between the communicators, then both the speaker and listener run the risk of thinking that the communication is successful, when in fact it isn't. If the disagreement between patterns of thought is very great, then it will be obvious that communication has broken down, but, if instead it is only slight, with words and phrases taking on slightly distorted meanings, or interpretations, then a much more sinister problem arises, with both sides believing, the listener believing they have received correctly, and the speaker believing they have sent correctly, when in fact both have failed.


2·3·10
Lots of weird dreaming last night. I only remember two, in the first, I was with my roommate, we were going somewhere, so we got in a helicopter, which is weird since neither of us are pilots. I think he was flying it, and we were doing fine, but then we went much higher and it just turned off. It was weird, my reaction was like, "really? the helicopter just turned off? bummer…" So we crashed. I remember a sort of calmness during the descent, even though I thought it would most likely kill us both. Instead when it crashed we both got thrown into the ground real hard. I laid for a minute, sort of amazed I didn't die, then I heard him groan, and I was even more amazed we both survived. Then, sometime after that I either woke up and realized it was a dream, or began to realize in the dream, but I don't remember anything after that.

The other dream, I was playing a video game, taking turns with someone else, but I don't know who. I wasn't very good, and it was some weird mario-like game, in 3d. And thats about all I remember.

2·4·10
I <3 Criticism. No, really, I really really really want to know what I do wrong, what I am wrong about, where I am wrong. I really want to know how to be a better person, a smarter person, a kinder person. A more emphatic person. (Thats a joke, I mean empathetic.)

I want to have my hand on mystery again.
I like the term clock recovery.
De novo.
"It's made with real bits of panther, so you know it's good."

2·5·10
Perish the thought.

2·6·10
Puzzles about secrets are not meant to keep secrets, but to challenge the curious. When it's desired that a secret remains so, the carrier simply never speaks of it.

2·7·10
The Kopp-Etchells effect is beautiful.


Looking through the list of requests on facebook, and seeing that a group I just joined, (looking for a million evolution supporters by june), is encouraging me to invite my list of friends, I had an epiphany: the most ingenious use of social networking sites is to pass on the activity of spamming to the users! Friends, or even acquaintances (like much of facebook), must respond much better to junk mail from people they know, instead of computers or nigerians, right?

What gives? Give it to me.

It can't come and go that quick, can it?
I need thawing. I need time to learn, and recall, and adjust. Clarity is tremendously helpful. It is motivating and inspires confidence. I just need to keep it in my head, to avoid the doubts that do nothing constructive; to stay on track, on aim for the target.
I think it's important to remember that these aren't things I want to change to make you happy, they are things I want to change to make me happy. I don't want to be distant, or unexpressive. I want to be able to pick up on your feelings.
But it will take me time to grow out of my shell. As I learn to be more comfortable around you, I can then think more rationally, and not over-think, and maybe even just feel, eventually. I don't want to live my whole life without feeling.

"When there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire."



I'd love to turn you on.