we control nothing.

the so called 'exciting' things in life are just illusions of danger. delusions of grandeur.

so many people say, "math, oh, thats hard", but they do so without qualification. computational complexity theory is actually the study of just how 'hard' math really is, therefore computational complexity theorists should be the only ones really qualified to say, 'oh, thats hard, math...' although that should include any other people who understand such analysis of algorithms.

i swear, i just licked this envelope and it tasted good, the glue there.

i just thought, i dont think i really understand other people feeling guilty about what theyve done to other people. i only understand what it means to feel guilty about something ive done to myself. no, thats not true.

do you like it or not?

(this was a while ago): i just had a beautiful two hour drive from unh durham to keene. it was just beautiful, the clouds, the sky, the trees, the roads, the weather. all around great. i had a great time too. then later that night i had a lot of fun hanging out with stefan, jeff, meagan and derek.

do you want to be someone else?

whats closer to you now? the moon, or europe? fuck you is closer to me now.
are there any parts that arent a dream?
oh right, new code word! fresh air! im an open container that likes to get fresh air. it helps me sleep.

im beginning to suspect that when there is a smart person in the world, they tend to make the group of people immediately surrounding them smarter as well.

operators are not standing by, but we have a machine that pretends for you.

dear Helen Fisher, is it possible that a human could become addicted to the feeling of uncertainty and excitement that are experienced in the early stages of love, and then fail to pass beyond those stages, in order to feed their addiction?

everyone gets forgotten; its not such a big deal. quit worrying about something so meaningless and distant, insignificant. but today Ian said something interesting: you can pass information on. thats really all we do, we collect and organize information, and then pass it on when we leave this place.

if i was looking for an equation to relate n variables representing physical values that change with respect to one another, and i had large tables for the behavior of each variable with respect to the others, could a computer find a single multidimensional equation that explains all of them?

where is the line with you?
i never thought i would compromise.

okay, i think what i want to study is quantum physics with the intention of expanding/developing our interpretation with respect to physical computing.
physics and computation.
the physics of quantum computing.
how fitting that the concepts of black versus white are annihilated at the very most fundamental level of quantum particles (that is, the principle of superposition destroys the concept of mutual exclusivity, for very specific cases that is).

does it make any sense for me to say im a misanthrope who cherishes humanity?

we have most important friends

(kiss) thats for fayah; (kiss) thats for your kids; and this is for you (kiss)

she runs down the stairs, because thats where hes headed. he stops and turns back, so she runs up a few steps, but he is just aggravated (not by her), so he pauses and proceeds down the steps. she is giddy, and so she runs up and down regardless of where he is going, she will run circles around his lagrangian path.

its all around you
you have to trust it

it might be important in life to never be happy; to constantly oscillate between states of wonderful feelings and states of absence and longing. promoting a recovery time and reflection, maybe its important.

shut up and swear youre here. shut up and swear youre here. shut up and swear youre here. shut up and swear youre here.

promise to me.

this will fall away with time
if you promise to be kind.

none of this is in our control.

anecdotal antidote.

"If you see Kay,
Tell him he may.
See you in tea,
Tell him from me."

i think maybe i need to start doing things. but somehow i am too easily distracted by girls. is it reasonable to think i need a stable relationship in order to focus on work that might relate to my interests? it seems unreasonable, as many people around me seem to have no similar difficulties.

also, collaboration somehow seems important, though there arent many people around me who seem to want to collaborate, or who are qualified to work on these things.

if god dictates morals, then he is not interested in people being 'truly good' so much as just deterring them from behaving 'inappropriately'







and i hate this so much.
the concept is vile.
the damage produced cannot be measured.