try running as far as you can without breathing. see how much anaerobic energy you have.
also, ask that girl what sort of time span the blood sugar level spike occurs for. seconds? minutes? hours?

decorate decorate

i like flossing because its as if you get to taste your meal a second time, hours after youve eaten it.

i just saw a bumper sticker that read something like, "you will not silence my message - you will not mock my god - you will not (something, i forgot) my generation"
and i wanted to write a note and leave it on their car reading, i wont silence your message, or whatever your generation, but i will mock your god. and if he is even remotely worthy of worship, youd imagine that he would defend himself. or do you believe your mighty creator to be incapable of receiving my mockery? will i hurt it's feelings? and why all the masculinity when referring to god? does this god have male genitals? if so, then okay, if not, then it seems misrepresentative of the definition of male and female, his and her, he and she, to call god he.

this, surprised me.
heartbreaking and brilliant.

good news: lee smolin seems to think we need a return to philosophical guidance in foundational physics, which is good news because i seem unable to abandon my philosophical curiosities in relation to physics, a problem which will most likely wreak havoc on my learning and understanding of quantum mechanics. i think it is noticeable how my philosophical understanding of phenomena has begun to trail my mathematical understanding as ive worked through Electricity and magnetism.

note to self (isnt most everything here?): stop thinking in terms of "heavy/massive=big" and "light=small", instead think of, heavy/massive=stuck, light=free to roam. why should massive particles be any larger than non massive ones?

i was standing in a liquor store, staring at the rum, when a man walked by smiling. a moment later, he walked by again, in the other direction, and said, "just buy them all". so i responded "i cant afford to", to which he said "just run really fast." so then i went to the register, and the man was in front of me in line, finishing his payment or something. so i told him, "i cant run that fast." and he said "after a few drinks you can". so i told him, "well, after a few drinks i might think i can", he said, "thats all that really matters right?"
now i realize: i bought this fairly cheap whiskey. and the reasons? well, it had a cool looking bottle, it was fairly cheap, and it was canadian. normally it would have been a type of rum, which makes me think of pirates, which would also have contributed to my causes, but this is whiskey, which i do associate with being cool still, but only because jared dawicki drinks it. the canadian however is a big plus really, not bigger than the cost, but still big.

laughing on the way down.

interests: looking at things–especially things which appear to have no definite pattern or structure to them.

"gimme the boat cleaner, in a needle."

its funny, if you can really separate yourself and your experiences from the effects of a drug like alcohol or marijuana, then you can see that even alcohol has benefits, when used very very moderately. however, marijuana has greater benefits. obviously making it a more desirable drug for legal use. it not only have greater benefits but lesser drawbacks. shame that we cannot admit that to ourselves as a whole society. also, fuck you william randolph hearst: the damage you caused to the species is immeasurable.

you should end all phone conversations with, "ill contact you with further instructions", that would seem very mysterious; spy like, it would be exciting!

why is it that, although most people masturbate (quite often even), it is in poor taste to discuss it publicly? why is it frowned upon to be honest? if you actually want society to get better, to be more open and free, if you want politicians to be more honest, we ought to curb this behavior of ours, of shunning highly common private issues of which we usually consider embarrassing. (do i seem all to excited to start this conversation? ha ha ha!)

and i dont want that either.

it seems the happiest people i know are the ones who annul all their inherited notions of how the world is, and learn to explore the world in their own view.

youre right about many things. i want to do things differently.

this is kind of fun to think about: normally, if you were to guess an answer to a question/problem/whatever, you would have some non-zero chance of being right, and some non-zero chance of being wrong. and if you took most instances of most types of questions/problems/whatever, this would be true... so, think of a game where i think of a number and you guess it, well, an 'instance' of this 'type' of game is when i think of the number twelve. now if we change the type of game slightly, we can make it so you have a zero probability of winning. all we need to do is allow me to be influence by your guess, as well as allow me to change the number i thought of. then you simply cannot win. it really comes from my favorite version of newcomb's paradox, which is this: an omniscient being, call it yahweh/god/allah, whatever you prefer, being omniscient, they make a prediction about your behavior. they have two glass boxes, today they will decide whether tomorrow you will choose both boxes or only one. if they predict that you will take both boxes, then they will place 1000 dollars in one box, and nothing in the other. on the other hand, if they predict that you will only take only the one box, then they will place a million dollars in that box, as well as the thousand dollars in the first box. tomorrow however, you will look at the boxes, and regardless of your decision or intention today, you might be tempted to change your mind. perhaps you will see that there is a million dollars in the one box and the thousand in the other and decide, "why not take both?", or you might see that the second box is empty, and decide, "that bastard (god)! ill show his 'greatness' how great he really is!" and chose only the empty box (out of spite i suppose). either way, god is fucked. he is simply wrong. maybe the key religious resolution to this would be to point out my phrasing '...tempted to change your mind...', so they could pawn it off as an evil temptation. but if the idea of right and wrong are based around "maximizing your well-being" is wrong and "helping some mythical beast look good" is right, then fuck that. humans are much too smart to have a god that could really help us in any real way.

fervid intimacy ensued.

dammit, i need to really consider the consequences, or more the uses of non-halting turing machines. has anyone considered any uses to non-halting TMs? seems like they would have, but i never hear of it. perhaps becaues it is not fruitful?

a lot of people love you, because you are how you are.

i love the phrase "conventional jelly bean"
"It was not until 1930 or so that jelly beans became an Easter candy, presumably from their resemblance to eggs." oh yes, because that makes perfect sense. easter = eggs. religion and tradition might anger me to no end some times, however, the specifics of the traditions are just baffling.

cascading failure. existential crisis.

as expected, the US government trumps all with its willingness to fund quantum computing. not surprising, QC is more valuable to the US government then, well, probably anyone else on the planet. they have more secrets, of greater value, then the rest of the world, surely. additionally, they have a budget so large, 'dwarf's doesnt do it justice; the US government can spend many times more money researching QC than the rest of the world combined, and still only be spending a small fraction of their over all military R&D budget. its downright ridiculous.

treat school like it is your JOB.
treat art like it is your reward.
like everything old becoming new i wanna be next to you.

i wish i could tell you everything.

a moment ago i began using my left hand to play with my right ear. and it felt as if i were exploring something foreign, as if my ear were not me. exploring further i used my right hand to touch my left ear, and got a similar result. it is kind of fun.

harry potter and the dominatrix? harry potter and the sexual deviant? i guess my harry potter story isnt ever gonna be told.

"For the second half of the film, I also played the part of Yul Brynner." -Charlton Heston
"brought to you by month old franks, 'the hotdogs with experience' "

but we cant control everything in the world.
you want them to hate you.

it needent involve movement. it can be just the subtlest, slowest of feelings. enjoy the feelings.

you fell out of the sky.
in fragments
i want to learn to draw through my sense of touch.

broken in a thousand pieces.