you are not omniscient, are you?

sometimes i cannot tell hot from cold.

trouble. taking place. there was trouble, taking place.

cooking with cody: the bagel conducts heat into the butter, melting it. yum. once the bagel is sufficiently soaked by the butter, we can pour a modest amount of sugar on top, which will also soak up the butter. butter soaked sugar has a nice look to it, kind of translucent, like quartz. yeah, i shouldnt be allowed to make my own food probably. how is it that i am still alive?

because with sufficient intelligence, one can convince oneself of anything.

by way of the green line bus. as usual, she was late. stand up straight let get a look at you. whats so funny? (shrugs). well its nice to see you too. im very sorry for your loss. your mother was a terribly attractive woman. hell of a damn grave. wish it were mine. im the one that failed them. or anyway, its nobody's fault. i, couldnt even begin to think about knowing how to answer that question. im taking about putting a brick through the other guys windshield. im talking about, taking it out, and chopping it up. its against the law.

i have a dentist appointment on thursday at eleven. isnt that excitement?

this is mildly humorous: the last few days stefan was driving my car, to practice, because hes probably going to get a car from his grandparents that has a standard transmission, which he hasnt really ever gotten comfortable driving. so i drove around with him some, and on occasion he would let the clutch out while in gear and stopped. really only maybe two or three times, usually while parking and turning the car off. its a very reasonable mistake of ordering on his part. now the funny part, to me, that ordering is very well known, so my first reaction is surprise, that he would do it backwards (turn car off, then let clutch out). but then i realize hes not used to it, no big deal. so i just went to get a glass of water, from bryants filter thing in the refrigerator, and its got a little nozzle you flip open, then you fill the glass. and i wanted to pull the glass away before closing the nozzle. i caught myself, and did it in the correct order, but i wanted to do it the reverse, im not sure why. it would have been fun, to pour water all over the kitchen. okay, so its not really funny at all. shut up. thats why.

you are not omniscient, are you?

"example from my own life: not knowing what a brain was and unable to understand that anything I wasn’t directly perceiving could still exist, but automatically and randomly identifying a particular handshake as Masonic"-Amanda
this is fucked, up. fucked up. it should be obvious. but its not.

a whisper of a thrill. i want you to get swept away. i want you to levitate. be deliriously happy. the truth is honey theres no sense living your life without this. who knows, lightning could strike. sorry, i was just being agreeable. do you mind me saying that? listen, did i say something wrong? am i dreaming this? are you a dream? it seemed a frequent thing. sometimes i speculate, that i havent left room for anything else. our adventure would end, abruptly. im sorry, i didnt mean to pry, and uh, you obviously didnt want to tell me so we'll just... we'll just leave it a mystery... that is the way you want it, isnt it? (yes, thank you). mr bad news.

EASTER:
It nice it happen to you. It like
you came to Cat Island and you had
a holiday, sun didn't burn you red,
just brown, sleep no mosquito eat
you, rum no poung you head nex' day.
But trut' is, dat bound to happen,
you stay long enough. So tak dat
nice picture home wi' you, but don'
be fooled. We lonely here mostly,
too. If we lucky, we got some nice
pictures.

if we lucky, we got some nice pictures. i find myself a little confused. because she knows the worst thing about me and its okay. that felt like goodbye. thank you for loving me.

a philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer said, "what now on the other hand makes people sociable is their incapacity to endure solitude and thus themselves." as an anti-socialite, i think i have a large capacity to endure solitude, and perhaps therefore myself?

you heart pi[e]? do you mean the number or the food? of course, lets not restrict ourselves to exclusive two-value logic here, you can of course like both.

is it strange that i appear very uptight and rigid in my behavior, yet also very flexible and unconcerned? after some thought, i think i know why. i think it is because i am very precise, meticulous, in my behavior, which comes across as uptight and rigid. but then im really not concerned with most of the world, it just isnt interesting. to be honest. and so its hard to be uptight about stuff you dont think is important.

to be honest.

why do people work so hard to protect me? i might be stupid and inexperienced, but im not fragile. i can handle disappointment. i can accept letdowns.